20 February 2007
Stuff
Alright. it's definitely been a while since I've done this... and wow, I can type a lot faster than I used to.
So far this year things have been going as usual... except there's a new definition of usual. Some things are the same, such as getting up, going to school, coming home, doing homework, and sleeping. I'm more or less socially clueless, so I don't get out much, although I like to think that I've improved somewhat this year.
I joined mock trial this year. That right there is the biggest difference. It's over now, which is a shame, because it's so much fun!! I was the defendant this year, because I didn't have the confidence to play lawyer. I won the "best witness" award our teacher/coach made, which was great.
We were a first year team, and we won two out of the four preliminary matches. How great is that!? Unfortunately, we didn't go onto finals, but we'll just have to get them next year. It doesn't even matter, because when I was up there on the witness stand, and I flustered the lawyer so much that he stopped and complimented me, that was all of the victory I needed.
Even after the season is long over, that remains my sole source of satisfaction. I gained confidence, and a certain level of comfort among my peers, that I didn't have before.
I also took the PSAT this year. I got a 197 out of 240, which is great! But then I took the Princeton Review Assessment, and I did very badly. Kind of disheartening, but also a bit of a wake up call for me.
I've been getting a bunch of college mail, which is fun, but sort of stressful. I even got an e-mail from a college I want to go to. But after the PRA, it feels like I might not perform as well as they seem to expect me to.
From what I've perceived, this is the year where we're all supposed to start thinking about our futures. Whoop-ee. But I'll act like a good little girl and start thinking about it.
In reality though, I've been thinking less about college and more about what I want out of life...I think.
I'm at that point where the question of what I want to acquire, to earn, is the most important thing. There are plenty of things I want, because really, that's the case for everyone. But if you look at it by asking yourself "what are the memories that I value the most?", then I think it becomes clear.
Most of my most precious moments involve being completely comfortable and having fun with other people. (That is, with the exception of a moment when I knew something that none of my English teacher's other classes did...)
So that implies that the thing I want most in life is to have friends that I can have lots of those moments with. So hopefully, if I have that, all else will follow.
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I had about decided you were so caught up in "the whirl" of life and school that you weren't coming back here anymore!
I can't imagine you being socially clueless, though I was in my day as well. You are so much brighter than I ever thought of being. You might not wish to take part in some things, but that's a bit different than being clueless!
Your Mom had spoken of your involvement in mock trial. Something new since my day; I'm glad you enjoyed it so completely! Doing something, doing it well and getting to enjoy it as well doesn't happen often in this life!
PSAT's are a chance to find out what you need to work on for next time; don't sweat them too much! The PRA I'm not familiar with, but as long as you get to take it again somewhere down the road, it's kind of the same thing. At your age I was still dreaming of so many futures and not ready to settle into any one of them. None of them are where I ended up, but that's different matter entirely!
Remember amongst all the recruitment and testing and planning to take a minute to catch your breath every now and then and enjoy life a little bit! Soon enough you will be supporting those of us who will be too old to take care of ourselves (i.e. Social Security, Medicare, etc.); take some time for yourself while you can! ("These Are the Good Old Days"!)
alan
You're a very kind person, did you know that?
I'm just a mirror...when you change this cruel cold world I'll be smiling ear to ear!
alan
*grin*